Happy Long Distance Relationships: Advice from other LDRs

Anybody watch the Superbowl?  Well, more importantly the commercials? Google did an interesting ad for themselves - all through the searches someone does travelling, meeting someone, trying to impress them, contemplating long distance, and then settling down.  Good job google.

Valentines day is quickly approaching!  (Its on Sunday February 14^th for those of you who are wondering…).  Even if you live far away from your partner there are still lots of ways to show you care!

• Email Valentines: Start today… and send your partner an e-Card (or even just an email with some fun images you created) everyday til Valentines day .
• Plan a wakeup call for Valentine’s morning, ensuring that the first words your lover hears on Valentine’s Day are either “I love you,” or “I had a dream about you last night…”
• Arrange to send flowers to their work/home: There is a reason why this is a classic – people like to receive flowers!

Want more?  Find lots of additional creative ideas here. And don’t be afraid to think of creative things that your partner would really appreciate - remember that it is the thought that counts.

Image source www.vegetarianwomen.com.

While listening to the John Tesh radio show a while ago, I was surprised to hear the suggestion that “happy couples” talk things out over the phone. They suggest that this will keep things positive by removing non-verbal cues (e.g. eye rolling). Perhaps this is one secret to long distance relationships? A number of other relationship tips were also included… see if you ‘know what happy couples know’:

• Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. We all see things differently, because we have different backgrounds. For example, your ideas of responsibility may be poles apart if you were the youngest child and they were the oldest. So, understanding where they’re coming from can make or break your marriage.
• Another secret that happy couples know: They use the word “I” instead of saying “You.” For example, don’t say “You’re so messy”. Instead, try: “I’m bothered when you leave clothes on the floor.” Why? It’s easier to resolve problems when you take the blame for being upset, instead of assigning your partner a character flaw. Like “You’re a slob!” That way, your spouse isn’t starting out on the defensive.
• And the final happy couple tip: Recognize the positives. Make sure you point out how much you enjoy and appreciate your spouse. Everything from the way you make each other laugh, to how well you share kitchen cleanup duties. The more often you tell each other how much you care, the happier you’ll both be!

I came across this today on one of my favourite advice columns… Do you agree?

Q: I’ve been in a six-month long-distance relationship; he calls me his girlfriend and introduced me to his parents. Three months ago, he left his email open and I saw he was on a dating website and messaging girls. He explained he was using it as a backup but, if I were upset, he would stop.

While visiting him two weeks ago, I discovered he was doing it again! It really upset me and I said I wouldn’t visit him if he continued. He agreed to cancel his membership. Yet, because I now have access to his email (he doesn’t know), I saw he was still using the website.

I can’t confess that I look at his emails. We’ve both said we want a long-term committed relationship but that we need more time to develop it. I think six months is reasonable to know if you want to commit. Is it acceptable for him keep his options open? He doesn’t date people; he says he’s on the site in case things don’t work out. I’m not sure I buy that. I’m not exploring other options while we’re apart and I don’t think he should, either. ~More Upset

A: Six months may be long enough for you but it seems it’s not long enough for him to feel committed. That’s his right, but you need to speak up about what you cannot accept, instead of playing detective and fuming.

The “backup” excuse is ridiculously illogical, even if he means it. If things don’t work out, then he can go online – the list of available women won’t have disappeared.

Trolling other profiles is only somewhat different from prowling a bar – eventually, there’s bound to be someone appealing enough for him to try making contact.

This isn’t about handing him an ultimatum; it’s about being honest and clear. Tell him you’re ready for a commitment. If he’s not ready to give up on “other options,” he can have them all – but he can’t have you, too.

Here are some ideas for those in the cold wintery parts of the world during these holiday times.

• Get out there and take pictures of the crazy street with all the 1000s of ridiculous lights decorating everything (including the kitchen sink). Then head home, and share them with your partner.
• Instead of going out, stay in and have a cozy evening together and watch some fun holiday or winter movies like “Miracle on 34th Street,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “A Christmas Story” to get into the holiday spirit. Start a fire in the fireplace, prep the hot chocolate with marshmallows, pop some butter popcorn and grab a warm quilt to snuggle under.  Then put the phone on speaker and start the movie at the same time.

I have one more week of vacation - then I’ll be back up to more frequent entries!

For any of you who follow The Biggest Loser, thought you like to know that Rebecca and Daniel are going the distance. After meeting on the show, they returned back home (her to Iowa and him to North Dakota), but that didn’t stop their relationship from developing further. They phone regularly, see each other often, and make sure to hit up the gym together and share recipes.
To read an interview with her about falling in love with her best friend (aw!), click here.

Please give thanks to your partner this weekend!

Tell them all your favorite things about them, make sure they know what they mean in your lives and how happy you are that you are together.  Make sure they feel it.

If you are struggling in giving thanks for your long distance relationship, here are a few things that are good about long distance.

(Image source)

(Image source http://www.myextralife.com)

Get a big box (the dollar store has cheap ones). Pick a theme and load up the box things that your partner will appreciate and will make them think of you. Your theme could be bubble bath for two – with champagne glasses, bubble bath, candles and lotion; or dinner and a movie – with a gift certificate, copy of a video and chocolate kisses; or sports night - with the schedule for your partners favorite team, a jersey (that smells like you) and beer nuts. Write a note explaining how you imagine your partner using the stuff and mail it! Cheesy? Yes. Guaranteed smile? Also yes.

Want a cheesier idea? For the next week (or longer) note down all the things that your partner says they love (or is their favorite… or that they really enjoy). Then find a way to bring it all together. It could be in a box you mail to them, or in a date you plan for the next time you get together. Favorite movies, color, food, shirt, anything and everything.  This is your own personal version of their favorite things.  Again - a smile is guaranteed.

Click here to sign up! We have been busy creating new fun things for long distance couples.  They aren’t quite ready yet - but we are hoping they will be in the next month or so.

If you want to be one of our beta testers please sign up HERE - all we need is your name and email.  You do need to be in a long distance relationship for our stuff to be fun though!

We won’t spam you.  Promise.

(Image source http://www.cupidblogger.com)

New technology for long distance relationships is constantly being developed. Take, for example, the Relational Pillow, a prototype from MIT. LED lights under the pillow’s material light up in any pattern when a user touches them. Connected by WiFi, another pillow miles away suddenly illuminates in the same pattern. Group founder Patti Maes explains, “You can draw a smile on one Relational Pillow and send it to another pillow far away.” Draw a heart to convey “I love you.” Ask simple, fun questions, or illustrate something naughty when e-mailing dirty talk just doesn’t cut it.