Feeling lonely in your long distance relationship?
Posted on 05. Jan, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice
One of the biggest drawbacks of LDRs is loneliness – especially those sudden, deep feelings of loneliness. Sometimes you just need a hug, or a talk (in person!) or even just a touch, but your partner is too far away. I used to find this was exceptionally bad immediately after my partner left (I would watch television and cry for no real reason at absolutely everything…). I was really lonely. Feeling abandoned in this random city, that I was choosing to live in.
At some point I realized that I needed to not just sit there and feel alone. Sometimes I would call a friend and go out somewhere. But sometimes I was stuck by myself. So, I created a list of things that I could do – alone – that I would look forward to. Next time I got upset, I pulled out my list and forced myself to do one of them. Examples:
- Shoot hoops. Take my basketball and my iPod and head out to the nearest net. Good distraction, good workout.
- Read. Not a complicated book though – because I couldn’t concentrate. Calvin and Hobbes or Stephanie Plum usually worked.
- Watch a movie. Not a romantic one.
- Take yourself out for coffee. Write down all the things you want to do over the next week, month, year, or decade..
- Grocery shop. Mundane. But it successfully distracts.
This is just my list. What would you put on your list?
goint to the gym and doing things like yoga is good. their relaxing will help you keep your mind off missing him, and you’ll look great for next time that you see him.
great idea! thanks isabel
Some things that get my mind off of it are:
+go visit places I’ve always been meaning to visit but haven’t (like the little local museums or a new coffee shop)
+traveling myself. with him away, it’s the perfect time for me to go visit my sister who lives out of town.
+video games.
+I also buy myself flowers once a week/two weeks just to have them around because they make me feel better.
+I also signed myself up for cooking classes. I’ve been meaning to do that anyway. It’ll be something fun. PLUS, when I see him again, I’ll be able to cook him something great!
Great ideas Sarah! Thanks for sharing them
Hi. I like the way you write. Will you post some more articles?