Happy Long Distance Relationships: Advice from other LDRs

Star Wars fan AND in a long distance relationship?

Posted on 16. May, 2010 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Other sites, Pop Culture

Here is the greatest Tshirt combo ever. Matching his/hers Star Wars t-shirts. Unfortunately, you can only get them by attending the Orlando conference.

Gifts for your partner. Cute AND matching.

Posted on 12. Apr, 2010 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Other sites

Looking for gifts for your long distance partner? Check out BoldLoft. They have matching pillowcases, shot glasses, t-shirts, etc that are all sold in pairs and meant to be separated. Their designs are the perfect level of cheesiness – cute, but not over the top.

A more detailed look at long distance relationships

Posted on 12. Apr, 2010 by lisa in Communication, Other sites

Below from here…

My heart went out to Russell Crowe, when the bad-boy superstar was arrested and charged with second-degree assault and fourth-degree criminal possession of a weapon after attacking an employee at the Mercer Hotel in New York. As Crowe later explained to David Letterman, he had repeatedly tried and failed to call his wife in Australia. I’m not condoning the use of a phone as a weapon, of course, but long-distance relationships can be tough enough to make even the calmest person edgy, much less a hard-rocking gladiator with a temper.

When I heard about Crowe’s rage, I’d just spent three months apart from my husband, Andy, in Tours, France, attending a language institute and living with an unconventional host couple in their fifties. (By “unconventional,” I mean that they had matching red leather pants. He gardened in his Speedo. Their home had leopard- and zebra-print decor and dozens of stuffed—by a taxidermist—animals. I’ve seen her breasts. Have I said enough?)

My first reaction on the day I arrived, exactly six months after Andy and I were married, was not aggression but something akin to hysteria. Exhausted by 15 hours of travel, I actually cried in my coq au vin when my hosts, who had already revealed their penchant for public displays of affection, asked me how my husband felt about my leaving him for so long. Later that night, despair escalated into a tantrum to rival Crowe’s when I discovered I had only one minute’s worth of prepaid cell-phone time left.

It’s a scenario many know all too well. Despite the teary goodbyes, lonely nights, flight delays, and outrageous phone bills, an estimated 14 million Americans are currently in LDRs, according to the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships. That number includes couples of all kinds, from those who fell for each other while living on opposite coasts to those who’ve been married for years but decided to live apart while she takes that plum international assignment or he goes back to school.

How do they do it? The simple answer is that, barring the occasional attack on a hotel clerk, long-distance relationships can work—and work well. Research suggests that they don’t break up at any greater rate than traditional, geographically close ones. Plus, multiple studies have found that LDR couples’ levels of relationship satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment are identical to their geographically close counterparts. LDR couples might worry more about infidelity, but they don’t actually cheat more.

…Article continues here.

Google Superbowl Ad – The searches long distancers do

Posted on 08. Feb, 2010 by lisa in Other sites, Pop Culture

Anybody watch the Superbowl? Well, more importantly the commercials? Google did an interesting ad for themselves – all through the searches someone does travelling, meeting someone, trying to impress them, contemplating long distance, and then settling down. Good job google.

Ellie Advice

Posted on 04. Jan, 2010 by lisa in Distance Factors, General Relationship Advice, Other sites, Real Relationships

I came across this today on one of my favourite advice columns… Do you agree?

Q: I’ve been in a six-month long-distance relationship; he calls me his girlfriend and introduced me to his parents. Three months ago, he left his email open and I saw he was on a dating website and messaging girls. He explained he was using it as a backup but, if I were upset, he would stop.

While visiting him two weeks ago, I discovered he was doing it again! It really upset me and I said I wouldn’t visit him if he continued. He agreed to cancel his membership. Yet, because I now have access to his email (he doesn’t know), I saw he was still using the website.

I can’t confess that I look at his emails. We’ve both said we want a long-term committed relationship but that we need more time to develop it. I think six months is reasonable to know if you want to commit. Is it acceptable for him keep his options open? He doesn’t date people; he says he’s on the site in case things don’t work out. I’m not sure I buy that. I’m not exploring other options while we’re apart and I don’t think he should, either. ~More Upset

A: Six months may be long enough for you but it seems it’s not long enough for him to feel committed. That’s his right, but you need to speak up about what you cannot accept, instead of playing detective and fuming.

The “backup” excuse is ridiculously illogical, even if he means it. If things don’t work out, then he can go online – the list of available women won’t have disappeared.

Trolling other profiles is only somewhat different from prowling a bar – eventually, there’s bound to be someone appealing enough for him to try making contact.

This isn’t about handing him an ultimatum; it’s about being honest and clear. Tell him you’re ready for a commitment. If he’s not ready to give up on “other options,” he can have them all – but he can’t have you, too.

Whose side are you on? Taking sides in other peoples fights

Posted on 20. Oct, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty, Other sites, Real Relationships

(Image source BeaconBlog)

A friend of mine just showed me a website called SideTaker where you post information about a fight you are in or have had with your partner and then others wade in and tell you whose side they agree with. Its like Wikipedia for fights! There are a couple of interesting ones about long distance relationships – the crowd seems to be onto something:

“Who moves in a long distance relationship?” A lady is trying to decide whether to quit and move ASAP from Hawaii to Utah to be with her long distance partner or wait until she gets a job in his area (he is starting a new business and could use her assistance). The crowd is pretty unanimous that she should wait til she gets a job in his area.
“Is it appropriate for my bf to have overnight female guest at his condo?” A women has been dating a guy for a year and has seen him twice in that time (though never seeing his condo). She is angry that her partner has a female friend in town, who is looking to stay at his place. The crowd is strongly suggesting that she is “the other women”.
“He wants phone sex, I hate phone sex….”. A lady feels like an idiot when doing phone sex and she is paranoid that her parents are going to hear something. The crowd thinks she should fake it. I agree with the crowd, as long as she isn’t super young. I also think she should read this about how to have better phone sex.

Do you agree with the crowds decisions?

Your Long-distance Relationship and the Environment

Posted on 15. Oct, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Other sites, coupledtogether

Today is Blog Action Day and this years theme is Climate Change. I’m assuming we have all heard about Climate Change (basically the temperature of the earth seems to getting warmer and more variable due to human activity and overuse).

I’m not going to suggest that you to see your partner less (I always think you should see your long distance partner more!), but there are a number of things long distance couples can do help reduce their environmental impact:

When you go visit your partner take the extra couple of minutes to make sure all the lights are turned off and unplug appliances (computers, microwaves, lights, etc) so that they don’t consumer electricity while you are gone
Take non-stop flights. 50% of carbon emissions are released during takeoff and landing.
Buy carbon offsets for your travel. Carbon offsets aren’t going to save the planet, but they can ease its burden.
Support green airlines. We need air travel. It is one the greatest achievements of humanity. However, we also need to work with companies who are trying to make air travel sustainable.
Volunteer to clean up your neighbourhood. You can either do this together in one partners location – or separately. And why wait for an “event”? Nothing is stopping you both from heading out the door today and picking up garbage in a local park or planting trees around your area.

Have more ideas for things long distance couples can do to reduce their environmental impact?

(Image source GeekDad)

Real Relationships – Neil and Amanda – A first date and then 6 months apart…

Posted on 12. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Other sites, Real Relationships

The Wall Street Journal has an endearing article about the long distance relationship of Neil (a Naval Intelligence Officer) and Andrea (a doctor).

They had their first date the day before Neil left for a 6 month posting in Iraq. Through those first 6 months they had their share of ups (first I love yous), downs (miscommunications), and even some awkwardness upon meeting each other a second time. Dealing with their different realities was especially challenging (he’s in a warzone!) but they are together now, married and proud parents to a 3 month old daughter.

Click here to read their story.

Retrosexual – the new old long distance relationship

Posted on 10. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Other sites, Pop Culture

Retrosexual is a new term applied to couples who met a long time ago, had no contact for years, and the then start dating after one of the partners messages the other (usually on Facebook or some other social media). Apparently, these relationships are growing in popularity!

One issue is that the partners don’t necessarily live nearby each other anymore creating a kind of new/old long distance relationship. I guess this means that more people are learning that you can’t really control who you fall for, or where they live.

I’d love to hear from anyone who is in this type of relationship!

A “sexy” blog – with great info for long distance couples

Posted on 05. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Getting Dirty, Other sites

Sexier Sex Lessons offers a weekly suggestion for how you can have more fun with sex. There are a couple of great articles for long distance couples. Including:

Enjoy!

'Other sites'