Travelling with your long distance relationship partner? Do’s and Don’ts Advice
Posted on 08. Aug, 2010 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty, Real Relationships, Technology for Long Distance Relationships
You and your long distance partner have a big trip coming up (or are thinking of planning a trip) – together! Very exciting! One two week trip I took with my long distance partner was the longest time we had spent together… ever. It went well, but I was worried going into it. Would we be compatible travel partners? What if we didn’t get along as well as do on our normal visits? What did this trip mean for our relationship? I was stressing myself out – for no reason. Here are some ideas on things to consider when you are planning a trip with your long distance partner.
- In order to plan a trip that both of you will look forward to, you need to know what kind of traveler you are – and what type of traveler your partner is. There are different “styles” of travel and you have to make sure you both come to some agreement on what type your trip will be. If you are the 5 star hotel type, and your partner is all into backpacking then some compromise is going to have to happen. Perhaps a cruise? Or staying in a nice resort in an off-the-beaten track area?
- Budget together. If one partner is tighter with funds than the other, vacation expectations can be very different. You might want to take full advantage of your travel destination, while your partner may be on a strict budget and not willing to do some of the same things. Or, you may be expecting your partner to help you out with part of your costs but haven’t verified this with your partner. Take the time before the trip to estimate costs (including food, lodging, travel, entrance fees, tours, transportation, etc). And then discuss those costs with your partner to make sure everyone is clear on expected costs and who is going to pay for what.
- Don’t be afraid to spend time apart – its okay if you need a break! After an extended period of time together you might need your space for an hour (or a day!) and that is perfectly fine. Suggest something that your partner would want to do and each of you can enjoy your separate time. Gives you that much more to talk about when you meet up later!
- Try to learn things about your partner! Notice how they interact with strangers, appreciate the things they notice that you would not have, check out activities that interest them. You may see a whole other side to your partner. Hopefully a good side.
- Do not let small things turn into big deals. You are both in a new place, experiencing new things, and bad things can happen. And bad things can lead to negative attitudes fast. So, try to not let that happen. If something bad happens – deal with it. And then try to get back on the happy vacation path.
(Image source http://lordofdesign.com/photoshop-brushes-travel/)
You are not alone… at least not online
Posted on 23. Mar, 2010 by lisa in Communication, Getting Dirty, Technology for Long Distance Relationships
A survey of Canadian college students found that 87% of more than 2,500 respondents ‘fessed up to getting dirty online via tools like instant message, webcams, and text message.
This can help relationships, as partners communicate more about their sexual preferences – especially talking about what turns them on. “Just like any other form of human communication, sexual communication is evolving,” says Noah Gurza (who ran the survey). “People communicate their sexual desires quite freely via virtual sex, which might not be the case in real-time sexual connections. Many virtual connections are just precursors for the real thing and as such, this initial openness might lead to increased openness when the sexual deed occurs — this is a good thing.”
“Cell phone text sex is also changing the rules, as it makes it transportable, and can be done from anywhere, not having to be confined in front of a desktop,” Gurza sayss. “It makes it much more immediate and getting down to the point, as text messaging is all concise communication.”
Distance certainly didn’t stop Tiger Woods.
(Image from http://trueslant.com/donovan/files/2009/12/tiger_texts.jpg)
Creative Fun Ideas for Long Distance Relationships
Posted on 23. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Getting Dirty
Here are three more creative ideas.
- Create some ‘aural’ erotica for your partner. Find (or write!) a dirty story and record yourself reading it. Then you can email your partner the file, or secretly put it on their computer the next time you see each other. Sounds like a good warm up for phone sex also.
- Share a favorite sport? Watch it on tv! You can both tune in, and share in all the action while talking on skype or on the phone.
- Make a mini-you! Tinypocketpeople allow you to create your own look-alike. You get to pick the clothes, hair, and the design includes an image your actual face. Cute idea as a gift for your partner.
Whose side are you on? Taking sides in other peoples fights
Posted on 20. Oct, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty, Other sites, Real Relationships
(Image source BeaconBlog)
A friend of mine just showed me a website called SideTaker where you post information about a fight you are in or have had with your partner and then others wade in and tell you whose side they agree with. Its like Wikipedia for fights! There are a couple of interesting ones about long distance relationships – the crowd seems to be onto something:
- “Who moves in a long distance relationship?” A lady is trying to decide whether to quit and move ASAP from Hawaii to Utah to be with her long distance partner or wait until she gets a job in his area (he is starting a new business and could use her assistance). The crowd is pretty unanimous that she should wait til she gets a job in his area.
- “Is it appropriate for my bf to have overnight female guest at his condo?” A women has been dating a guy for a year and has seen him twice in that time (though never seeing his condo). She is angry that her partner has a female friend in town, who is looking to stay at his place. The crowd is strongly suggesting that she is “the other women”.
- “He wants phone sex, I hate phone sex….”. A lady feels like an idiot when doing phone sex and she is paranoid that her parents are going to hear something. The crowd thinks she should fake it. I agree with the crowd, as long as she isn’t super young. I also think she should read this about how to have better phone sex.
Do you agree with the crowds decisions?
A “sexy” blog – with great info for long distance couples
Posted on 05. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Getting Dirty, Other sites
Sexier Sex Lessons offers a weekly suggestion for how you can have more fun with sex. 
There are a couple of great articles for long distance couples. Including:
- How to Laugh Your Way Through Technical Difficulties and into Great Webcam Sex
- How to Feel Closer When You’re Apart
- How to Get Your Lovers to Send You Hot Text Messages, Even If They Don’t Want to at First
Enjoy!
Creative Ideas
Posted on 16. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Getting Dirty, Other sites
Mail your partner some fun stuff!
Message in Bottle: You can either create or order a message in a bottle to be sent to your partner. Though more expensive then a regular letter, its not that much more for such a unique idea.
Your body (well, sortof): Make ceramic molds of part of your body and then either send your partner the molds, or use those molds to make other (e.g. chocolate!) shapes.
Personalized M&Ms: You can put text or images on M&Ms and then send them to your partner – and yourself 
Creative Ideas – Some dirty fun
Posted on 21. Aug, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Getting Dirty, Other sites
Looking for some sexy ideas of things to do with your partner? Try some of these out!
Hoochy mail. I haven’t tried it my self, but it sounds like they have a lot of happy customers. You give them some details and they will create a dirty message and send it to your partner.
Lingerie Show. Who says that your new purchases have to go undiscovered until you see each other? Break out the video camera and show them off!
Play truth or dare. Whether played instantly on a webcam or over a couple of days over email this game is endless. You can keep it dirty (e.g. dance sexy for a dare) or simply get to know each other better (e.g. whats the one thing they would rescue if their home caught fire for a truth).
Got other ideas for creative ways to connect with your partner? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.
Unique Problems with Long Distance Relationships
Posted on 03. Aug, 2009 by lisa in Distance Factors, General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty, Other sites, Trust/Jealousy
Long distance relationships definitely have some unique negative characteristics adding complications to the already difficult world of relationships.
1) Its so easy to lie. You either believe your partner or are constantly suspicious of what they say. They probably aren’t lying to you! But flaky behavior is something that should raise concern.
2) Pent up… um… “energy”. Everyone needs a physical connection – so you either have to get good at doing it from a distance or suffer (and hope your partner doesn’t try to find action somewhere else).
3) The progression process can be challenging. If you live far apart, what is the next step?
4) How do you know if your partner is really who they say they are? Online relationships are especially susceptible to this concern. But even if you see your partner every other weekend, how do you know they aren’t hiding a spouse back in their hometown? Make sure you see their world and understand it when you visit them.
Got other unique things about LDRs? I’d love to hear about them!
Do you have awkward moments when you first see your long distance relationship partner?
Posted on 11. Jun, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty
This is normal! It tends to happen after going for more than 3 weeks without seeing each other. Its just each of you realizing that you are FINALLY with this amazing person that you have been talking/writing/gaming/thinking about. Don’t take it as a sign that something is wrong with your relationship.
If you go in expecting a few awkward moments in the beginning everything will quickly settle back to normal. Trust me. Soon you will soon go from this:
to this:
(Images Lars and the Real Girl and www.people.com)
Things to appreciate about your LDR
Posted on 26. May, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty, Positives about LDRs
It’s easy to read about the negative factors associated with long distance relationships. However, LDRs are not all negative – in fact, there are a lot of positive aspects to long distance relationships. Such as…
a) Surprises. Perhaps I like surprises more than the average person, but being in a long distance relationship with a fabulous partner also means that I get more of them
b) Knowing you are with a great partner who is dedicated to you (otherwise neither of you would be in the relationship!)
c) Travel (assuming you can both travel to see each other). Traveling to see your partner is like a vacation. You get feelings of anticipation, time away from your everyday reality and adventures in a new place. Depending on how far apart you live from your partner, the frequency and distance factor here can be very different from long distance couple to long distance couple, but even a few days away is still a mini-vacation.
d) Independence. In long distance relationships, partners pursue friends and activities independently. No need to ask permission or work around each others schedules daily (well, perhaps to fit in a phone call or so!). In general, you do your thing and your partner does their thing, and (hopefully) everyone is happy.
e) Passion! They don’t call it the ‘honeymoon effect’ for nothing. After not seeing each other for extended periods of time some seriously amazing physical affection is long over due – and man, is it good!
