Your partner is not a mind reader – don’t hold it against them!

Posted on 22. Mar, 2010 by lisa in Canadiana, General Relationship Advice

Here is another LDR question/answer from my an advice columnist who I tend to like. The Lesson? Tell your partner what you are thinking!

Q: After two years of a long-distance relationship, we’re meeting soon. He’s smart, funny, manages a job and university really well. He lives in Britain, I’m in Canada, so he stays up to have our daily chat.

But when I’m sad he can’t really tell. I’m emotional and sensitive and always had this expectation that if I’m close to a guy, he should be able to take care of me when I’m feeling down. It’s not easy for me to open up or say that I’m sad and I want him to ask me why. I hint, sound sad, write small replies, but he doesn’t get it. Then we end up fighting … more like me fighting, complaining about his mistakes and him saying sorry. It’s the only huge problem we’re unable to deal with.

Is it my fault? My life in comparison to his is pretty easy. I don’t have to work and my only worry is about university. I do have family issues; he’s an introverted person but opens up to me easily. And he’s committed, too. I’m sure he cares, but why doesn’t he show it? Or are my expectations too high?

Confused

A: Close, committed relationships rarely run smoothly through all the varied emotions both parties experience. The fact that you two have stayed close and committed for two years without ever meeting, shows great determination on both parts.

But, yes, your expectations are too high, especially when you only send out hints of sadness and expect him to catch on, instead of being straightforward. Stop the guessing game. It’s more fair to both to say, “Hey, my family (or whatever) really has me down today.”

Your British Connection seems like a good guy. Give him real information and stop agonizing over a problem that can be solved if you just speak up. It means looking after yourself to get what you need, which is a reality in relationships, rather than your fantasy that someone always knows when to take care of you.

Real Couples: Peter MacKay and Jana Juginovic

Posted on 05. Nov, 2009 by lisa in Canadiana, Real Relationships

This is being talked about in Canada… Peter McKay (a Canadian politician, who has been one of Canada’s leading eligible bachelors for a number of years now) recently proposed to his long distance girlfriend!

He splits his time between Ottawa and his riding in Nova Scotia while she is currently attending Harvard University on a Nieman journalism fellowship.  No one really knows anything about her… he, however, has quite the love history.

He used to date Belinda Stronach (of Magna International) – til she dumped him rather publicly.  He also grabbed headlines when gossip started about him seeing Condoleezza Rice in 2006 (which was not true at all).

After all those relationships, sounds like he got pretty good at handling the long distance.


(Image source Globe and Mail)

Happy Canada Day!

Posted on 01. Jul, 2009 by lisa in Canadiana

Since we are based in Canada, I thought I would wish everyone across Canada and the rest of the globe a very happy Canada day!

Canada turns 142 today.