People who you may not think play a large role in your long distance relationship – but who probably do
Posted on 30. Jan, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice
If you are in a long distance relationship – then there are certain people that can have a strong positive or negative effect on your relationship:
- Your Boss/Supervisor – Depending on what type of work or school environment you are in, your supervisor can make your life easier or harder. They can determine if you can work from your partners location for a few days, or allow you to change hours based on what works good for any travel (e.g. leaving early on a Friday). In general, any supportive co-workers will make your life better.
- Roommate – Does your roommate throw a party in the living room when you are trying to have a romantic evening in the dining room? Or knock on the bedroom door often to give you an update on what they just learned from the television? Since together time is rather limited, good communication with your roommate about what is and what is not appreciated during visits may be necessary.
- Your Travel Agent – depending on how far away you live from your partner, the price of travel may play a large role in how frequent you are able to see your partner. In these situations, having a good travel agent (or friend) who informs you about travel deals often can make a big difference. Reminders from them to use any credit card, air miles and aeroplan points can also increase how often you see your partner.
- That one friend who thinks your long distance relationship (well, and all LDRs) are bullshit – Most people have at least one person in their life who doesn’t believe that 2 people can have a trusting relationship while living far apart. While you know that your partner is trustworthy, this persons opinion can start to get you down if you let them. Kindly ask them to support your decision and not bash your relationship (its really not very friend-like).
Can you think of others that can affect your LDR, either positively or negatively?
Long distance relationship sites I like
Posted on 28. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Other sites
Here are some online sites that have fun, interesting and useful information about long distance relationships:
- Long Distance Diva Blog. This blog was started back in 2007 and has lots of good stuff on it. The most recent entry reminds us that we are quickly approaching Valentine’s day, and offers some suggestions on what you can do for your long distance partner.
- Fambooks email tips. I signed up for their ‘LDR ideas’ email a while ago. There were lots of good tips that I received from it. My only complaint was that they didn’t come often enough (it’s a lot less than weekly…).
- Lovingyou.com has a specific long distance relationship section. There are a number of articles as well as specific ideas from others in long distance relationships.
Check ‘em out! Let me know if you have other favorite online locations.
(Image from here)
Appreciation of each other
Posted on 26. Jan, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice
I truly believe that one of the pros of long distance relationships is a sincere appreciation of your partner. I think it’s a lot easier for couples who live near each to lose their appreciation for each other compared to couples who live far apart. The separation, missing, loneliness, and all the other negative emotions that couples in long distance relationships go through means that an inherent sense of appreciation for each other must strongly exist (otherwise, we wouldn’t put up with all those negatives!).
The tough part can sometimes be communicating that appreciation. Make sure your partner knows how important they are to you.
‘The Office’ Long Distance Relationship
Posted on 23. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Trust/Jealousy
(Spoiler Alert: If you have never seen ‘The Office’ and intend to watch it from the beginning then this is a warning about some spoiler information. That being said, the show is a comedy, so its not really going to ruin anything).
Fans of ‘The Office’ probably noticed that in the most recent season (5) Pam and Jim are in a long distance relationship. And they are really really good at it! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, Pam is the office receptionist and Jim is one of the sales guys. During the first couple of seasons the two of them spend their days in the office flirting with each other, even though Pam is engaged to someone else. Eventually, Pam ends her engagement and the two FINALLY hookup at the end of Season 3. In Season 5 she goes away to school for 3 months and a number of long distance relationship issues are touched on:
- Issues about trust and jealousy. Pam starts friendships with new gentlemen, and a run-in with Pam’s ex causes Jim to feel insecure (episode 4, 6)
- Long distance isn’t for everyone. Another couple (Michael and Holly) begin, and then quickly end, their long distance relationship (episode 5)
- Creative ways to stay connected. One day Pam and Jim have an open cell phone connection, talking to each other on Bluetooths all day long (episode 6)
- Determining how long to be part. Pam has to stay away for longer, but Jim is supportive. Pam then has a surprise for Jim (episode 7)
Can you think of other LDR couples on TV? Please comment about them.
Trust in Long Distance Relationships
Posted on 20. Jan, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Trust/Jealousy
(Image from http://www.inquisitr.com)
Assuming you don’t have an open relationship, trusting your partner to not be getting it on with another person is an important part of your relationship. Studies have shown that people in long distance relationships are no more likely to cheat than couples who live near each other; yet couples are more likely to be jealous and have decreased trust levels of each other.
When I first read these stats, I was a bit surprised. Upon reflection I realized some things. It is not hard to cheat. I’m sure that if most people – male or female – made it their mission to go out and get some action they would be able to. It doesn’t take effort to cheat, it takes effort to stay true. Even if you live in the same city as your partner, you aren’t with them all the time, leaving them just as capable of cheating.
So, what does all this mean? Trust your partner. Unless you have evidence showing that are cheating (or know they have cheated), it’s probably just the long distance that is causing your jealousy. Most likely, they are being just as true to you as you are to them.
Teledildonics or Cyberdildonics – apparently that’s what the kids are calling it these days
Posted on 14. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Getting Dirty
You can have sex over long distances! The Sinuator (for women) and the Fleshlight (for men) are examples of teledildonics or cyberdildonics tools. After connecting these vibrator type devices to your computers, “a man can be thrusting in Cleveland while a woman is penetrated in Seattle”.
While this technology has been available for a couple of years now, they are just starting to increase in popularity. Who knew?
Top Celebrity Long Distance Relationships
Posted on 12. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Getting Dirty
Celebrities are in LDRs too! Given their hectic filming schedules that can take them to exotic locations for months at a time, celebrities are experienced in the joys and pains that living apart from their partner can bring. Here are some couples that have talked about it:
Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon – She’s based in California, he’s filming in the UK and Morocco. Dating over 1 year, they have had their struggles with long distance relationships. They talk on the phone and email each other often, but they are apparently dealing with the usual issues of not feeling the other persons is “there”. What do they do when things get bad? One of them flies to be with the other.
Kendra Wilkenson and (pro-football player) Hank Baskett – This former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner and pro-football player are pretty open about their enjoyment of virtual sex over Skype!
Jennifer Aniston and John Meyer – While John was touring, Jen and him managed frequent content and were able to stay happy in their long distance relationship.
If they can do it, hopefully you can too.
10 reasons to stay in a long distance relationship
Posted on 10. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Distance Factors, General Relationship Advice, Positives about LDRs
I’ve read a lot of articles and books that talk about whether or not you should start a long distance relationship. I always thought that was weird. If you like each other enough (keyword being ‘enough’), and you don’t live in the same area (either when you meet or for any stretch of time after meeting), then you will just kinda find yourself with no choice! At least that’s my experience. However, at some point, you might start to wonder if its really worth continuing it. Here are some reasons to keep going…
- 10: That first hug when you eventually do see each other
- 9: Independence (especially when you see your friends in controlling & bad relationships)
- 8: Free room and board in a different city
- 7: Picturing your life together.It will happen eventually. And it will be amazing.
- 6: Regular emails/IMs telling you how wonderful, smart, funny and intelligent you are
- 5: Thinking about how wonderful, smart, funny and intelligent your partner is
- 4: Your partners smell (you know you love it!)
- 3: Those late night conversations where you feel so close and so connected and so in love
- 2: Always knowing there is someone out there who loves and misses you
- 1: Because your life is better with your partner in it. Period.
Loving Your Long Distance Relationship (for women) – the book
Posted on 07. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, General Relationship Advice
I recently downloaded “Loving your Long Distance Relationship for Women”. It was a quick read and contained a number of insights and ideas of things to do with each other. Here are the gems that I got out of it:
- When you realize that in a bad relationship, 2 people in the same room can both feel lonely, you’ll see that physical proximity has nothing to do with feeling close and loved
- Make tapes/podcasts for the other person. When you think of something you want to tell them, you just pull out a voice recorder and talk. This way, they are sort of with you wherever you go. Right there in your purse/pocket!
- Embrace your independence. Continue to develop your own self. Always. Its better for you. And the relationship.
- Be corny. Things get the title of being “corny” because people keep doing them. And people keep doing them because it makes them feel close to one another. Almost all the rituals of lovers are corny, so get used to it. You‘ve just joined the ranks of people who used to make you sick.
Pseudo Long Distance Relationships
Posted on 06. Jan, 2009 by lisa in Distance Factors
Most likely, if you are in a long distance relationship – you know it! However, I suppose there are relationships that may not fit the classic definition (i.e. you live a long a sizable distance away from your partner) , but still the relationship brings about similar characteristics of not seeing each other often and generally being independent, etc:
- You might be geographically close, but for one reason or another not able to see each other frequently (e.g. shift work, parents, etc)
- You technically live near each other, but one (or both) of you travel so much for work or school that you spend more time in separate cities than in the same one (e.g. consulting work, military)
Are you in a pseudo long distance relationship? Please tell your story of the pros and cons by commenting below.
