Long Distance Love song by Keziah Smith
Posted on 30. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Long Distance Songs
Great song by Keziah Smith. The lyrics walk through the decisions that face every long distance couple in a bluesy funky musical way. Enjoy!
Celebrity long distance couples
Posted on 26. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Other sites, Pop Culture, Real Relationships
Kyra Sedgewick and Kevin Bacon. Since 2005, Kyra’s schedule for filming The Closer keeps her in LA while Kevin and their two children reside in NYC. “I remember the first few years it was like I was in an ocean and constantly getting tumbled over…It’s not like that anymore … but the homesickness – missing the kids, missing those life moments – that gets harder and harder.” (Image: Vincent Laforet/The New York Times)
Leona Lewis and Lou Al-Chamaa. Though they technically share a place in London, Leona (best known for her song Bleeding Love) is now US based. Their long distance relationship means they communicate through phone calls, chats, email and Sype as much as possible.
Signing up for Technorati!
Posted on 26. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Other sites, coupledtogether
Hopefully this means more people will be able to find the blog.
If you know other people in a long distance relationship – please pass our blog info to them. And we are always interested in idea about stuff you want to read about, things you do/don’t like about the blog and stories about your long distance relationship. We’d really like to hear from you!
How do you know if you should continue with your relationship
Posted on 24. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Communication, General Relationship Advice, Real Relationships
Here is my take…
In the middle of a crazy fight its natural to question your relationship – to want to break up immediately, not caring about what your partner thinks or has to say. But it’s equally natural after kissing and making up to think that things will now be different, and everything is going to be perfect. This up and down pattern can become very repetitive… I was once in it for 2 years 
How about this question: If the relationship were to continue into the future EXACTLY how it has for the past X amount of time – would you be happy in the relationship? (X amount of time can be a year, a month… or whatever reasonable time period since any major changes occurred in the relationship).
If the answer is “No way. Things need to change!” – Then you need to figure out what is going to cause this major change. If you are looking to your partner to make this big change – then you might need to look again. If you have already talked to them about it 100 times (and I don’t mean subtle hinting here – I mean laying it all out clearly and making sure they understand) and nothing has changed, you either have to try something new or accept that this is the way its going to be. Otherwise, it doesn’t sound like you are going to be too happy in the future.
If the answer is a big “hells ya” – Awesome! Sounds like things are going well – make sure your partner knows how much you appreciate them.
20 Fun Relationship Questions to Ask Your Partner!
Posted on 22. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Communication, Creative/Fun Ideas, General Relationship Advice
- If they could have thirty minutes to talk with any famous person, who would it be?
- What is their favourite of your articles of clothing?
- When was the last time they cried?
- Do they remember the details from when you first kissed each other?
- What are their top 5 things that they like about you?
- What is their favourite holiday?
- What is the first thing you would do if you won 1 million bucks?
- If you didn’t need any more money, what would you spend your time doing?
- What did you dream about last night?
- Favourite cartoon or comic book? Why?
- What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever done?
- What is something that I used to do that you really liked that I haven’t done lately?
- Which do they think is better: oatmeal raisin or chocolate chip?
- What topic do they wish they knew more about?
- What is the best day of the year so far for them?
- Who do they look up to or admire?
- What is the least favourite part of their day?
- Sunrises or sunsets – which are better?
- If you could move anywhere, where would you move to?
- What is your perfect meal?
(Image from http://www.getworksheets.com)
Day to Day talks – Thorns and Roses
Posted on 19. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Communication, General Relationship Advice, Pop Culture
Something I have heard repeatedly is that there is a correlation between talking about everyday things with your partner and relationships success. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to talk everyday – but it does mean that when you do talk you have to talk about big and little things. Your partner should know about the dirty daily details. For example:
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the great thing you had for lunch
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something that someone did that really angered you
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a small accomplishment that made you smile
A good way to do this is by introducing a new tradition in your relationship – ‘Thorns and Roses’ (which is also practised by the Obama familiy). Essentially, each partner takes turns talking about the best (rose) and worst (thorn) thing that happened that day/week.
It makes sure that you are each familiar with the daily trials and tribulations that each of you are going through. It is these little details that slowly build together a sense of interrelatedness and make any relationship solid.
(Images from Shutterstock and www.hiren.info)
Creative Ideas
Posted on 16. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Getting Dirty, Other sites
Mail your partner some fun stuff!
Message in Bottle: You can either create or order a message in a bottle to be sent to your partner. Though more expensive then a regular letter, its not that much more for such a unique idea.
Your body (well, sortof): Make ceramic molds of part of your body and then either send your partner the molds, or use those molds to make other (e.g. chocolate!) shapes.
Personalized M&Ms: You can put text or images on M&Ms and then send them to your partner – and yourself 
College Relationships
Posted on 14. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Communication, General Relationship Advice
We are a week into the school year now. Some couples are just settling into a long distance relationship for the first time, others are returning to the familiar life of an LDR and others have just moved to be in the same place as their partner after having a summer apart.
Just starting out in a long distance relationship? Here are some quick tips:
- Don’t rely on your long distance partner to be your only social connection. You have to forge a life for yourself – it’s scary (like realizing that you know NO ONE, but forcing yourself to do it anyway) and exciting (like finding friends that who will be there with you for the rest of your life) all at the same time. Persevere through the tough times.
- Set up a regular communication pattern that both you and your partner can live with. If you start to have a problem with the plan – talk to your partner and adjust it. You will eventually find something that works for both of you.
- The small stuff does matter. Talk about what annoyed you in class today, email your partner when you find out about a good mark, and when you visit your partner get familiar with their daily trek around campus. It is all these little things added up that build your relationship into something great.
If you have ideas for college long distance relationships – please comment about your experiences!
Love Letters – The original long distance communication
Posted on 11. Sep, 2009 by lisa in Communication, Love Quotes, Real Relationships, Trust/Jealousy
(Image Source here)
Long before computers, there was the love letter which connected couples that were in long distance relationships (though, I don’t think they called them that back then!).
Below are two letters from Napoleon Bonaparte to his wife Josephine. The letters showcase the range of both positive emotions (e.g. happiness, love, dedication) as well as some of the negative emotions that long distance can bring out in all of us (e.g. jealousy, frustration, paranoia).
Its rather reassuring to know that not much has changed in relationships in over 200 years…
Spring 1797
To Josephine,
I love you no longer; on the contrary, I detest you. you are a wretch, truly perverse, truly stupid, a real Cinderella. You never write to me at all, you do not love your husband; you know the pleasure that your letters give him yet you cannot even manage to write him half a dozen lines, dashed off in a moment! What then do you do all day, Madame? What business is so vital that it robs you of the time to write to your faithful lover? What attachment can be stifling and pushing aside the love, the tender and constant love which you promised him? Who can this wonderful new lover be who takes up your every moment, rules your days and prevents you from devoting your attention to your husband?
Beware, Josephine; one fine night the doors will be broken down and there I shall be. In truth, I am worried, my love, to have no news from you; write me a four page letter instantly made up from those delightful words which fill my heart with emotion and joy. I hope to hold you in my arms before long, when I shall lavish upon you a million kisses, burning as the equatorial sun.
Paris, December 1795
I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart! Are you angry? Do I see you looking sad? Are you worried?… My soul aches with sorrow, and there can be no rest for you lover; but is there still more in store for me when, yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart a love which consumes me with fire? Ah! it was last night that I fully realized how false an image of you your portrait gives!
You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours.
Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.
Why do people think long distance relationships can’t work – when clearly they can!
Posted on 08. Sep, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice
I’ve been doing some research lately on heuristics and biases, specifically the availability heuristic and representative bias. I think it has something to do with the bad reputation that long distance relationships have. Yes, the distance is tough – but not impossible. So, why the bad rep?
Here is my theory: People like to tell interesting stories. And people tend to remember the most interesting stories easily – no matter how realistic they are (this is essentially the availability heuristic at work). This means that the bad story of the couple who were in a long distance relationship, where the Julia was cheating with every single person she met OR John is actually married to someone else OR Dan moves to be with his long distance girlfriend only to learn that she is really a crazy axe murderer (okay, perhaps that last one isn’t so common). The point is that this one extreme story gets told and told again, so people begin to believe (incorrectly!) that that is representative of how all long distance relationships are.
How do we fix it? We keep on truckin’ in our own long distance relationship and make sure that the people we know hear about how it is working and how it can be done!
