Couples Couples Couples. Everywhere.
Posted on 29. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Communication, General Relationship Advice, Positives about LDRs
Sometimes it can seem as if the world is full of happy couples who are together – when you are sitting there, alone, as usual, thinking about your partner who lives kilometers (or miles) away. It can get really frustrating. Especially if it feels as if these other couples are flaunting the fact that they have partners who live in the same city. Some thoughts to calm you down:
1) You have a partner who thinks you are fantastic! So fantastic, that they are willing to go for long periods of time without seeing you – because they know that when they finally do see you it will be uh-mazing.
2) Most likely, these other couples are NOT trying to shove it in your face. They just happen to be with their partner at this time – and lets be honest, if you were with your partner now you would probably be doing the same thing.
3) Think about how your partner can always make you laugh – and how the last time you were together there was that really funny/cute/awesome thing they did.
4) Remember that you are choosing this. You can break up with your partner at any time – but you are choosing to stay with them because they are awesome, and the two of you are awesome together, and your life is better with your partner it. A lot of the couples walking around may not be so confident.
Calmed down yet?
Benefits of LDRs
Posted on 26. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Positives about LDRs
Here are more positive things about long distance relationships (from here and here):
- You get to be involved in an intimate relationship while still retaining your individual space and getting a lot of opportunities to enjoy solitude.
- You are able to really draw out that initial spark of romance since you’re frequently seeing each other again after long absences.
- You are able to stay in the place where you live even if the person you love doesn’t live there.
- You get to have more time for yourself.
- You’re never the friend who’s always with her boyfriend.
- You might miss out on nightly sex, but when you do have it, it’s really great.
- You can actually keep up with your plan to eat healthy and work out more.
- There’s always something to look forward to.
- You may not have a lot of time together, but the time you do have is extra special.
- You have the whole bed to yourself!
- You actually get to miss each other.
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Creative Fun Ideas for Long Distance Relationships
Posted on 23. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Creative/Fun Ideas, Getting Dirty
Here are three more creative ideas.
- Create some ‘aural’ erotica for your partner. Find (or write!) a dirty story and record yourself reading it. Then you can email your partner the file, or secretly put it on their computer the next time you see each other. Sounds like a good warm up for phone sex also.
- Share a favorite sport? Watch it on tv! You can both tune in, and share in all the action while talking on skype or on the phone.
- Make a mini-you! Tinypocketpeople allow you to create your own look-alike. You get to pick the clothes, hair, and the design includes an image your actual face. Cute idea as a gift for your partner.
Whose side are you on? Taking sides in other peoples fights
Posted on 20. Oct, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Getting Dirty, Other sites, Real Relationships
(Image source BeaconBlog)
A friend of mine just showed me a website called SideTaker where you post information about a fight you are in or have had with your partner and then others wade in and tell you whose side they agree with. Its like Wikipedia for fights! There are a couple of interesting ones about long distance relationships – the crowd seems to be onto something:
- “Who moves in a long distance relationship?” A lady is trying to decide whether to quit and move ASAP from Hawaii to Utah to be with her long distance partner or wait until she gets a job in his area (he is starting a new business and could use her assistance). The crowd is pretty unanimous that she should wait til she gets a job in his area.
- “Is it appropriate for my bf to have overnight female guest at his condo?” A women has been dating a guy for a year and has seen him twice in that time (though never seeing his condo). She is angry that her partner has a female friend in town, who is looking to stay at his place. The crowd is strongly suggesting that she is “the other women”.
- “He wants phone sex, I hate phone sex….”. A lady feels like an idiot when doing phone sex and she is paranoid that her parents are going to hear something. The crowd thinks she should fake it. I agree with the crowd, as long as she isn’t super young. I also think she should read this about how to have better phone sex.
Do you agree with the crowds decisions?
Time Zone and Scheduling Issues
Posted on 18. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Communication, Distance Factors
In my relationship, my partner and I were in the same time zone and had a very similar 9-5 schedule. I have friends now who live 3 time zones away from each other, and I know others out there are even more ‘time separated’ from their partners (shift work, etc).
The biggest issue is finding a time to talk, when one of you is tired and wants to sleep and the other just got home from work. Flexibility is important. Talk to your partner. Make sure you are honest about what you both need for your own health and lifestyle.
Hopefully you can find a time that works for both of you. If you can’t, here is an idea – find two times. One time when it is good for one person and bearable for the partner; and another time when it is good for the partner and bearable for the other person. Then alternate these times for when you talk (You could alternate daily or weekly or by some other schedule).
The important part is that find something sustainable where both of you keep looking forward to talking to each other. And If your partner has something come up and can’t talk – relax! There is always next time.
Your Long-distance Relationship and the Environment
Posted on 15. Oct, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice, Other sites, coupledtogether
Today is Blog Action Day and this years theme is Climate Change. I’m assuming we have all heard about Climate Change (basically the temperature of the earth seems to getting warmer and more variable due to human activity and overuse).
I’m not going to suggest that you to see your partner less (I always think you should see your long distance partner more!), but there are a number of things long distance couples can do help reduce their environmental impact:
- When you go visit your partner take the extra couple of minutes to make sure all the lights are turned off and unplug appliances (computers, microwaves, lights, etc) so that they don’t consumer electricity while you are gone
- Take non-stop flights. 50% of carbon emissions are released during takeoff and landing.
- Buy carbon offsets for your travel. Carbon offsets aren’t going to save the planet, but they can ease its burden.
- Support green airlines. We need air travel. It is one the greatest achievements of humanity. However, we also need to work with companies who are trying to make air travel sustainable.
- Volunteer to clean up your neighbourhood. You can either do this together in one partners location – or separately. And why wait for an “event”? Nothing is stopping you both from heading out the door today and picking up garbage in a local park or planting trees around your area.
Have more ideas for things long distance couples can do to reduce their environmental impact?
(Image source GeekDad)
Priorities
Posted on 13. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Communication, Distance Factors, General Relationship Advice
When you go visit your partner, are you their top priority? When they come visit you, are they your top priority? Yes, we all have our own lives and jobs and hobbies and friends and families – but your partner should be a top priority when they are visiting. You don’t need to just do things with each other (in fact getting out and about and meeting people in each others lives is a good thing) but whoever is hosting should plan some special events. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive – a home cooked dinner, planned walking tour around town, etc would be great.
If partners are visiting for a couple of weeks or months at a time, then this is not applicable… But if your partner is only visiting for a couple of days then hopefully that time is well spent! If you (or your partner) can’t seem to find the time or put in the effort, you may need to do some talking to figure out where things are going.
(Image source Raven Young)
Real Relationships – Neil and Amanda – A first date and then 6 months apart…
Posted on 12. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Other sites, Real Relationships
The Wall Street Journal has an endearing article about the long distance relationship of Neil (a Naval Intelligence Officer) and Andrea (a doctor).
They had their first date the day before Neil left for a 6 month posting in Iraq. Through those first 6 months they had their share of ups (first I love yous), downs (miscommunications), and even some awkwardness upon meeting each other a second time. Dealing with their different realities was especially challenging (he’s in a warzone!) but they are together now, married and proud parents to a 3 month old daughter.
Click here to read their story.
Retrosexual – the new old long distance relationship
Posted on 10. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Other sites, Pop Culture
Retrosexual is a new term applied to couples who met a long time ago, had no contact for years, and the then start dating after one of the partners messages the other (usually on Facebook or some other social media). Apparently, these relationships are growing in popularity!
One issue is that the partners don’t necessarily live nearby each other anymore creating a kind of new/old long distance relationship. I guess this means that more people are learning that you can’t really control who you fall for, or where they live.
I’d love to hear from anyone who is in this type of relationship!
Save money in your long distance relationship
Posted on 07. Oct, 2009 by lisa in Technology for Long Distance Relationships
(Image source allshadow)
Money is running low for almost everyone these days. Here are some ways to save money.
- Skype. Skip the phone as much as you can and talk on Skype. If you get a webcam, you can not only hear – but also see each other. Waaay better!
- Long distance phone cards. If you do have to use normal phone lines, you can usually get the best deals by purchasing calling cards. Read the details when you buy them (some charge a flat rate per call, plus minutes; others don’t…). If you tend to talk for a long time, the flat rate plus minutes might be your best bet. If you talk many times for short periods then avoiding the flat rate fee would be better for you.
- Travel company sign-up. Do you have a favourite airline? Favourite car rental company? Take the train? See if they have a customer loyalty program and sign up! Not only do these programs usually give out special savings, you will also be the first to know about travel deals.
- Same cell phone service. Lots of cell phone companies are implementing free mobile-to-mobile minutes and messaging. Spend some time to researching which companies offer these deals in you and your partners area in order to get the best deal.
- Cheapest internet provider. Some quick research on internet providers may reveal plans that offer unlimited use for a cheap price. Look around – and encourage your partner to look around also.
Have other money saving tips. I’d love to read about them in the comments.
