Secrets to a successful marriage
Posted on 09. May, 2010 by lisa in Communication, General Relationship Advice
This isn’t anything specific to long distance relationships… but it seemed like a good list that applies to all relationships. The list was compiled by a professor at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, Dr. Terri Orbuch, who recently wrote 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great
Be generous with praise: According to Dr. Orbuch’s research, husbands reported a need to hear compliments from their partners – even more so than wives, who tend to get affirmation also from their friends. Men who said they didn’t feel special to their wives were two times more likely to get divorced.
Shake things up: “Knock your partner off balance just a little bit,” Dr. Orbuch says. That may mean exercising together or watching a scary movie or hopping on a roller coaster. Active couples are happy couples.
Talk about what you’d do if you won the lottery: Take time each day to talk about something besides the kids, work and the house renovation, a topic that reveals something to you about your partner. For instance, Dr. Orbuch suggests: “If you had all the money in the world, where would you travel?”
Know your partner’s top two expectations: Frustration sets in, Dr. Orbuch says, when there’s a big gap between what you expect to happen and what’s actually happening. The top expectation in her study, according to nearly every husband and wife: Never hurt or deceive the other person.
Sweat the small stuff: This seems counterintuitive, Dr. Orbuch says, but she’s not really talking about the toilet seat being left up. If your partner always leaves the room during a fight, for example, and it irritates you now, it will probably drive you crazy later. Talk it over.
