Feeling lonely in your long distance relationship?
Posted on 05. Jan, 2009 by lisa in General Relationship Advice
One of the biggest drawbacks of LDRs is loneliness – especially those sudden, deep feelings of loneliness. Sometimes you just need a hug, or a talk (in person!) or even just a touch, but your partner is too far away. I used to find this was exceptionally bad immediately after my partner left (I would watch television and cry for no real reason at absolutely everything…). I was really lonely. Feeling abandoned in this random city, that I was choosing to live in.
At some point I realized that I needed to not just sit there and feel alone. Sometimes I would call a friend and go out somewhere. But sometimes I was stuck by myself. So, I created a list of things that I could do – alone – that I would look forward to. Next time I got upset, I pulled out my list and forced myself to do one of them. Examples:
- Shoot hoops. Take my basketball and my iPod and head out to the nearest net. Good distraction, good workout.
- Read. Not a complicated book though – because I couldn’t concentrate. Calvin and Hobbes or Stephanie Plum usually worked.
- Watch a movie. Not a romantic one.
- Take yourself out for coffee. Write down all the things you want to do over the next week, month, year, or decade..
- Grocery shop. Mundane. But it successfully distracts.
This is just my list. What would you put on your list?
